As Jessica Sees It…

I love facebook! Seeing pictures and reading posts from old friends and acquaintances and getting a glimpse into the lives of distant friends and family I rarely see – its a beautiful thing! I’ve heard some say it provides users a false sense of connectedness, and I partly agree. Still, I get to learn a great deal about people from their posts and pictures, and I would say that I get to learn even more this way than I might learn in an actual conversation before a meeting at work or at a family reunion, with all the social awkwardness involved in wondering, “how will my point be taken?”, “what if I say the wrong thing?”, “what if they laugh at me?”, “I don’t want to start a big fight over this”, all of which tend to limit how much of our meaningful experiences and viewpoints we share. Of course, I’m not suggesting we forgo actual face-to-face dialogue, but I do think there’s a little something extra we gain through social networking. And sure, it’s hard to convey the full meaning of an experience in text. But I’ll put out there that I’ve learned so much more about people’s actual lives, their political values, religious ideas, pet peeves, families, hobbies, and all the things that make them uniquely fascinating people, with much less filter than I would in a casual conversation at a dinner party or in passing at the grocery store. I wonder why that is. Do we perceive the social stigma to be smaller when we type our viewpoints, despite that we do interact with a greater online audience?  Does this make it easier to share just a tad more?

Just five years ago, turning 30 might have posed a real crisis to me. At age 30, I had planned to compare my list of accomplishments to those I imagined were on the “should have accomplished” list at mile marker 30. Typical of an achievement-oriented eldest child, I expected I would be comparing things like career advancement, a certain income and investment level, and other accomplishments related to deliberate and planned effort to be in a certain place financially and in possessions, relative to… the Joneses, I guess. When I did turn 30 though, I realized that the items on the list had changed, and were actually only one: “Am I happy?” to which I sensed an overwhelming contentment, yes, I’m happy. Turning 30 was actually a really great day for me. Without consciously recognizing the change, somewhere along the way I decided my life would be measured by a different standard. I realized I had grown immensely in my own self-acceptance in just a few years, and this was accomplishment enough. I felt suddenly empowered to decide for myself how my life would be measured, and liberated enough to admit it. Because I get to choose, I will not have it measured by my possessions or career, but by my living honestly with myself.

I resumed blogging today.  With so many thoughts swirling around about the pressing social issues discussed of late and the human behavior research I’m studying in school, I thought I’d start sharing my perspective online for the feedback of anyone who cares to read it and provide theirs.

If we haven’t talked in a few years, you might benefit from this preface: my social and political perspectives tend to range from conservative to liberal, but usually moderate.  We may differ, yet I would like to know your perspectives too.  I do believe in God.  I pray, I read the Bible,  and I do accept empowerment from the Holy Spirit.  You might read about those experiences.  I am a Christian, but I am an aspiring counselor and family therapist, so I tend to be a little more accepting of the messiness of humanity than Christians stereotypically are.  We agree on the big stuff, but my husband’s viewpoints are not always mine.  One marriage, two critical minds are much better (and much more fun) than one (and definitely better than none, but I won’t go there, yet).  I am a wife, sister, daughter, student, friend, and an in-law, a future counselor, a future mother, and many other things, but I am primarily a human with a range of human thoughts, feelings, and experiences.  I will share my humanity with you and I hope you get to know me primarily this way.  In return, I hope you will share your humanity with me, honestly and, if you dare, with the same vulnerability.