Unspoken rules: every culture, class, family, organization, and person has them. They are those things we just take for granted, as if everybody does it [or should do it] this one [correct] way. They may seem unreasonable to others, especially if others’ rules are different, but for better or worse, they are the rules we tend to live by and get offended over, when someone breaks them. Whether we know it or not, we tend to staunchly defend them.
I’ve begun exploring the unspoken rules I’ve accepted and implemented in my life, whether aware or unwittingly, in order to choose whether to keep, alter, or discard them. In the process, I’ve learned a few things about where they came from, how I adopted them, how they are useful, and how they may be problematic. I have a few blog topics in mind, which I’ll write and post later, about some of my unspoken rules. In the meantime, these are a few of the unspoken rules I came up with from my life. I’d love to hear some of yours.
Walk on the right side of the stairs, hallway, sidewalk.
Use phrases like “excuse me”, “pardon me”, “thank you”, “I apologize”, “I appreciate ___” often.
Negotiate for more.
Be served when you are a guest (but always offer to help, and mean it), and serve when you are a host.
When a conflict arises, defend the ones you love (whether you agree or not).
Acknowledge when someone says something to you.
Anticipatory excitement makes most things better.
Existing groups should welcome new members.
Plan ahead.
Being caught off guard is not a tragedy, unless it is a tragedy.
Consider the needs of others when your plans include them.
Hold open the door for the person coming in behind you.